Laugh My Ass Off

Colorado Lunch Police Go Coo-Coo Over Little Girls Cookies

Posted in Uncategorized
at 2015.12.24
With 0 Comments

It certainly sounds like a sequel to one of his movies, but Arnold Schwarzenegger made no appearance in Pre-Kindergarten Cops. Still, a four-year-old student of an Aurora, Colorado school, along with her mother, was shamed to a point just shy of The Terminator, and theyre likely to have Total Recall of the incident from this point on.

Last week, Leeza Pearson sent her daughter to pre-Kindergarten with a lunch that included Oreo cookies as a snack. Her little girl returned home from Childrens Academy, a private school that gets state funding to accept public school students, with her cookies untouched, though. She also carried a nasty note for her mother, directly from the schools Nutrition Nazis, which read:

It is very important that all students have a nutritious lunch. This is a public school setting and all children are required to have a fruit, a vegetable, and a healthy snack from home, along with a milk.

Image by Leeza Pearson, acquired from ABC News

Image by Leeza Pearson, acquired from ABC News

Pearson ordinarily tosses fruit and veggies in with her daughters lunch, but had none that day, she told ABC News on April 29.

I think it is definitely over the top, especially because they told her she cant eat what is in her lunch. They should have at least allowed to eat her food and contacted me to explain the policy and tell me not to pack them again.

She also finds the school to hold a do as I say, but not as I do standpoint, as well. For example, according to Pearson, Childrens Academy recently requested that parents provide Easter candy, and regularly gives jelly beans to students, too.

They say I cant decide what to feed her but then they sometimes feed her junk food. Why am I being punished for Oreos when at other times I am asked to bring candy?

The school didnt reply to press requests for comment, but when asked by ABC News, a school board official agreed that the note was at least a step too far. The Aurora Public Schools representative and Pearson disagree, however, on another key point in this incident; the school board spokesperson says the child was given an alternate snack, while Pearson says her daughter received nothing.

As you might expect, with such nutritional Nazism and public funding of private schools, Aurora is a rather right-of-center community. Its Buckley Air Force Base is the citys top employer, followed by three major defense contractors. All three of its counties gave most of its votes last year to re-elect Rep. Mike Coffman (aka The Broken Record of Failing Right-wing Policies). And in 2014, according to The Denver Post, it was ranked as the ninth most conservative city in the country, too.

Image:Photo by Leeza Pearson via ABC News

‘s served as state and national delegate and even last-minute congressional candidate. He contributes to If You Only News and other sites, including his own blog, ROBservations.

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Rob Groce

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  • Artist in Resonance

    So, uh, what do you do for a living, Mr. Rob Groce?

    • regroce

      and you ask for what reason, Paul?

      • Artist in Resonance

        Lets not play dumb, gentlemen. One can spend their life playing endless rounds of a pastime we could dub Aint It Awful, doing it to merely gin up knee jerk moral outrage and still never once have done a single thing about the problems. This assumes one truly wants to solve them and is not dependent on the constancy of said problems for their job and income. People mistake clucking about something for acting on it.

        The boneheads are always with us. Actual Progressive ideas are what deserve wider dissemination, not the rule writing benders of some backwoods Cookie Nazis. We are better served cultivating seeds that are worth growing. Call me a snob, but piddly lunch police merit no attention when there are any bigger fish to fry. In what world is this to be called reporting on progressive anything?

        • regroce

          Paul, this writeup was done at the request of an editor. Im not complaining glad I got to look it up, too.

          This circumstance is one of a private school receiving public funding that has set its own do as I say, not as I do standards for the parents of its students. To do something about that, or to at least discredit it, more need to know about it. Thats why circumstances like this get circulated to improve public awareness. Without public awareness of anything, nothing can change, can it?

          Id go into a more thoughtful discussion on this and other subjects with you, but am not so inclined with one who engages in agitation of a double-standard. You hide behind an anonymity-protected pseudonym you initiate conversations with sarcasm apparently intended to demean and that makes it hard for me to have any desire to engage.

          • Artist in Resonance


            Your criticisms are duly noted and I have decided there is some validity to them. Thucydides said, Of all the manifestations of power, the one men most respect is restraint. It deserves to be said yours has been exemplary. I do stand by my earlier assessment of the newsworthiness of The Great Oreo Embargo of 2015. We can not land the biggest fish of our lives every time we bait a hook, but with all respect to your editor, if this is indicative of the usual assignments he has for you, he either has a very deep stable of high quality workhorses from which to choose or thinks too small to make better use of a man of your character and writing ability. Granted, Ive not walked one pace in his shoes. He though has not sat in my chair at the desk in my study looking at the monitor of the system I paid for only to see this news story presented as if worthy of attention.

            In the words of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, What else ya gott?

            Paul Edward Czapla

    • CognizantImpiety

      What, are you stupid? It says just below the article:

      Rob Groce follows and reports on progressive sociopolitical topics from his South Carolina home, where hes served as state and national delegate and even last-minute congressional candidate. He contributes to If You Only News and other sites, including his own blog, ROBservations.

      • Artist in Resonance

        No, sir, I am not stupid, I am ignorant. Stupidity requires deliberate effort and Im far too lazy for that.

  • CognizantImpiety

    Simply outrageous….that you would equate the Third Reich with a mislead educator.

    When the right-wing nuts do this, everybody goes insane; and rightfully so.

    Your point can be made, Mr. Groce, without the breaking of Godwins Law right off the bat.


    • BlueAmethyst

      The reason theyre being characterized as Nazis is for the totalitarian-like nature of the schools actions. Its none of the schools business what she feeds her daughter. Bear in mind, the cookies where intended as a snack/dessert, after the meal. Note that the school has in the past asked parents to bring junk food to school.

      This isnt a mislead educator, this is a dumb-ass. Maybe the child would be better off home-schooled. Given that shes already in private, they should be able to afford it.

  • samwolf78

    After reading its the 9th most conservative city in the country im not the least surprised by this. You reap what you sew republicants.

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