Laugh My Ass Off

Mans Newspapers Stolen From Doorstep- Heres How The Wall Street Journal Fixed It

Posted in Uncategorized
at 2016.01.03
With 0 Comments

A man in Berkeley, Calif., got fed up with his copies of the Wall Street Journal intermittently disappearing from his doorstep. According to Berkeleyside, nearly two weeks ago, Berkeley businessman and local photographer Richard Nagler posted a note to the thief, very politely asking whoever it was to just return the papers by 10 a.m. or so, in good condition, with no coffee stains. The note went viral, and actually caught the attention of WSJ.

Berkeleyside reports that, upon finding out what was happening, WSJ just couldnt resist joining the fun. None other than WSJs editor-in-chief, Gerard Baker, decided to post his own notes outside on Naglers Skylight and Sun store. The notes were written both in the same spirit, and the same tone, that Nagler used in his note to the newspaper thief. It said:

To our subscriber, Richard, who has had his Wall Street journal taken so many times over the years:

We recently caught wind of your decade-long struggle with someone routinely appropriating your Wall Street Journal. We do understand this persons desire for in-depth analysis, news coverage, and award-winning journalism but thats no excuse for taking your newspaper.

So heres the deal:

Obviously The Wall Street Journal is important to your life and we feel terrible that we cant give back all those past issues that were taken.

To make up for your loss we are giving you a complimentary iPad with the WSJ app. With it youll always be able to read The Journal, even if your print newspaper starts to disappear again.

We appreciate you making time to read The Journal, and we remain committed to providing you with the high-quality journalism you expect from us.

Well try to help with those investment tips as well.

Thats absolutely adorable. However, Nagler was less than enthused. He told Berkeleyside:

Those right-wing saboteurs not only defaced my valuable property, they are trying to set me up with a confrontation with the IRS. They know Ill have to report the iPad and subscription as a gift and pay tax. Theyre trying to win me over to their side. I smell Rupert Murdoch behind all this.

And that is hilarious. Whats even more hilarious is the fact that Nagler isnt as hardline as that statement makes him appear. He also said that, if WSJ had offered him a laptop or a desktop computer, he would definitely consider switching from MSNBC over to Fox News.

WSJ also left a note for the thief. It offered them a 12-week subscription for $12, which is the same deal they offer all new subscribers. The major difference, though? The thief gets their own, special URL to use for signing up: wsj.com/subscribedontsteal. No doubt WSJ thinks theyre being cute, and theyre probably right.

Its not known how much of an effect these notes had on the thief. However, Naglers papers havent disappeared since he posted his original note. They also havent taken Nagler up on his offer yet, but its kind of hard to do so when theyve stopped stealing the papers, at least for now.

Featured image via Berkeleyside

‘s rights and workers’ rights, and she’s an avid animal rights and welfare activist as well. Rika has a serious problem with tea party politics, as she believes that the best solutions to the world’s problems come from groups of people who don’t all think the same way. The tea party is so conservative that not only are they racist, misogynist, classist, selfish, and such fear-mongerers that they vote against their own interests, but they do not believe in working with the “enemy” either. Rika’s hatred of tea party politics and the idea that cooperating means colluding with some “enemy” is what really prompted her to start writing on liberal politics.

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Rika Christensen

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    Supporting right-wing rags like the Wall Street Journal is your first mistake.

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