Laugh My Ass Off

Married Actor Wakes Up With His Testicles STOLEN After Making Out With An Attractive Mystery Girl.

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at 2016.01.01
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30-year old TV soap actor and currently childrens animator Dmitry Nikolaev, was rushed to hospital after waking up in a bus stop feeling acute pain with blood on his trousers. Nikolaev only remembered being approached by a blonde woman at a bar after his performance at a small Moscow theatre. He added that the blondie flirted with him as they took a couple of rounds of beer and even invited him to a sauna of which he agreed to. They kissed and had some more beer and after that the actor remembers nothing, reports MailOnline.

Initially embarrassed to explain the incident to his wife, the doctors revealed that he had been drugged and had his testicles castrated perhaps by a scoundrel doctor or even a veterinarian. I thought I just had a cut, but at the hospital, they told me my testicles were removed, he said, according to a translation.

The Russian Police are now engaged in tracking a gang believed to include a surgeon, as the organ is skillfully detached. The authorities fear that the syndicate is known for drugging their victims first and later on selling human organs on the black market.

Well thats just the unimaginably worse way to wake up.


Photo credit: Life News

As if hangovers arent worst enough. On top of the pounding headache and feel of regret, your boys are gone. Your most loyal boys. The guys who have been there through thick and the clap. Ive woken up from a black out drunk missing important items many times. Every one has. Wallet, keys, debit cards, shoes, contacts, shirts, dignity. All of it. Anything a person can lose during a black out, Ive lost it. Or at least I thought everything.

He warns men to avoid picking up unknown women and getting intimate.


Photo credit: Life News

Imagine you waking up the next morning, went to take the longest most vicious piss of your life only to realize your balls were gone. Thatd probably be your worst nightmare turned into reality.

  • Lose your phone? Hey, man, will you call my phone? I cant find it.
  • Lose your debit card? Call every bar that you remember going to and hope its there.
  • Lose your shoe? Check the front yard.
  • Lose your goddamn testicles? I guess just start crying? Thatd be my only move I think. Just tears.

Life comes at you fast. One minute the guy thinks hes going to score with a hot blonde in a sauna, the next minute hes waking up with blood one his pants and no balls.

Watch the video:

Fortunately, everything will be okay for Nikolaev. He currently works as a childrens animator, but hes hoping to star in a big project, , , or in English, Dude, Wheres My Balls?

H/T: DailyMail

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