Laugh My Ass Off

Republican Who Accused Himself Of Molesting Children For Jesus Now Faces Felony Charges Over Affair

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at 2016.03.23
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Remember Teabaggers Todd Courser and Cindy Gamrat? They were the two Michigan state senators who attempted to cover up their extramarital affair last year with an extraordinary scandal involving fake gay sex and a male prostitute. They served on the state House Ethics Committee because the Michigan Republican Party is a giant joke. Well, now theyre facing the very real felony charges for their cover up and all the gay sex scandals in the world wont save them now.

Sex and Senators

The problem starts, as these problems often do, with a heavy dose of self-righteousness thats depressingly common among right-wing politicians like this. Gamrat and Courser are both married, both have families, and they both love Jesus.

They loved each other, too, and they started an affair.

To cover their affair, Courser attempted to launch a spectacularly convoluted false-flag operation. I described it last year:

He concocted what could only be described as a gay-hooker scandal to cover up the heterosexual affair, and then claimed that he was being blackmailed as a result. He commanded a political aid shared by both him and Gamrat to help him with his manufactured scandal. Understandably, the political aide was uncomfortable on ethical grounds, and ended up recording his boss rather than going through with his bosses ridiculous and insane conspiracy theory.

In the recording, Courser tries to convince aide Ben Graham to draft an email calling Courser a gun-toting, bible-thumping, c*ck-sucking freak. …. [who] was accused of child molestation.

Yes, he accused himself of child molestation for Jesus. The Party of Personal Responsibility, gentlefolk.

Unsurprisingly, it didnt work. Graham was fired after refusing to send the email, and subsequently sent the recordings hed made of his conversations with Courser to the Detroit News. Now Attorney General Bill Schuette is lowering the boom on both Courser and Gamrat with felony charges.

When you hold the public trust, and theres questions of misconduct in office and that you lied under oath, I think those are serious, Schuette, the attorney general, told the Detroit News. Those are real.

Courser was charged with a count of perjury and three counts of misconduct, while Gamrat was charged with two counts of misconduct for providing false information to the House Business Office and allowing staff members to forge her signature. If convicted on all four counts, Courser is looking down the barrel at 30 years in prison, while Gamrat could face a maximum of 10 years.

Again, these two were on the House Ethics Committee. Thats worth noting since not even Jonathan Swift could produce something this vitriolic and mocking of the American political system.

Feature image via the Detroit News

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‘s a patron of the arts and sciences, and a supporter for universal human rights — as well as another quite afternoon with the latest find at the local library.

    Thamiel Rosenkreuz

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