Laugh My Ass Off

Tattooed Mom Breaks Into Cars, Claims She Was Searching For ISIS!

Posted in Uncategorized
at 2016.01.26
With 0 Comments

Have you ever gotten into your car at night and suddenly felt like someone might be sitting behind you in the backseat, ready to slit your throat or strangle you with piano wire? Well, now you can add beheading to that grizzly list of paranoia. A Mississippi woman was just busted by police for burglarizing cars in the parking lot of her childrens school. Lisa Roches defense? Searching for ISIS.

Ill give you a moment to stop laughing.

Wait, Lisa Roche said WHAT?

Thats right, 41-year-old Lisa Carol Roche of Hurley, MS, was apprehended by local authorities for breaking and entering into cars in the parking lot East Central High School on Friday, Oct. 3. For some odd reason, local police found it hard to believe Roche had the inside scoop on the Islamist State of Iraq and Syria. Perhaps it was the sunglasses and other items found on Roche, pilfered from students cars, that led the authorities to doubt her.

When questioned by police, Roche simply claimed that she was looking for ISIS terrorists, according to Gulf Live.

Mug shot of Lisa Roche.

Lisa Roche got busted by police for burglarizing cars in the parking lot of her childrens school her defense? Roche claims she was looking for ISIS terrorists! Oh, and confiscating sunglasses and other items that might look threatening.

Maybe, just maybe, shed stumbled onto a pair of their sunglasses and was about to save Hurley from a string of beheadings the likes of which havent been seen in Mississippi since the Civil Rights Movement (see Birdia Keglar, 1966).

As of Oct. 3, Roche remains in the Jackson County Adult Detention Center. As a result, she currently faces up to five years in prison, if convicted of burglary, as well as a $10,000 fine. Most likely the prior charges of careless driving and two felonies for fraud and embezzlement havent helped her case or credibility, either. Some people just cant catch a break, not even defending their country.

Authorities are weighing their options in considering Roches ISIS intel, but I wouldnt worry about too many backseat beheadings for now. Youre safe sticking with your same old bogeyman.

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